Hey mama, I see you
Living your best domesticated life?
A solo grocery run becoming your YOU time? Partner more of a roommate?
I see you.
Mother’s Day is approaching. If you’re like me, you dread the let down (mom pun intended), the disappointment when little thought has gone into the day. When you are asked to carry the mental load of meal and activity decisions on THIS day. On every day.
So run down, but so grateful. Spread so thin, but driven.
Rage cleaning while kids go for a bike ride with your partner. Yep. If you don’t rage-whatever, are you even a parent?!
What day is it?
When was the last time I felt like me? So long ago now, the idea is fuzzy but I’ve seen photos of her. Always looking back and thinking, I was so thin, so youthful, so happy. It’s easy to tell past me, “I have a beautiful smile” or "I look super fun”.
Why is it so hard to celebrate me… now?
I’m accomplished. I’m a mom. I made a whole bunch of lives. I weathered storms to get here. Fuck, it’s still stormy.
What will it take to smile genuinely at myself in the mirror?
What? What will it take?
I won’t pretend to have the answers but I’m doing the work and I invite you to as well, whatever that looks like for you.
To quote the goddess, Ru Paul
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else?”
And if she didn’t write that for moms like you and me, I can’t imagine who could benefit more from hearing it?! We moms are not only wading through whatever self loathing baggage filled swamp we had before kids, now we have birth trauma, partner resentment, disconnection from friends, family and colleagues. And so much more.
If the idea of self love makes you as uncomfortable as it does me, it’s probably something you could work on. Lean in to it girl. Lean into the discomfort and love YOU again.
I see you mama.
Slay those saboteurs with me.